23 October 2006

FUN WHILE IT LASTED

It was fun while it lasted …

… That is, this self-imposed virtual exile, this willful retreat into sullen hibernation, this deliberate descent into an obscure and anonymous purgatory of silence. I was hoping to hold my water until -- oh let’s see -- the aftermath of the impending midterm elections, at which time we’ll likely see thinking people everywhere heartily engaged in one of two particular modes of behavior: either triumphantly giddy and downright ridiculous euphoria, or stab-yourself-in-the-fucking-eyeball-and-bring-this-sorry-bullshit-to-an-end despair. Under these uncertain circumstances, we’ll either be running amok in unrestrained and joyous relief that the beginning of the end of the illegal Republican occupation of the United States is (perhaps) finally at hand, a situation wherein the re-visiting of this hopelessly inane blog-thing might seem less pointless than usual; or, alternately, most of us will be bowing to the inevitable and preparing to flee this fledgling Fourth Reich in sheer panic, or blowing our own brains out, or something equally nihilistic and self-indulgent. In which case, maintaining the blog would be, shall we say, superfluous in the extreme.

Anyhow. For whatever inexplicable reason, I decided not to wait for some arbitrary moment or artificial deadline before resuming this fundamentally hollow enterprise. Maybe I was bored; perhaps it was the not-so-profound realization that silence is infinitely more purposeless than a messy, indistinct blog that’s barely noticeable within the titanically vast sewer of the blogosphere; could be the imminent return of Mike Malloy to what’s left of the airwaves having at least a mild catalytic effect on my moribund and numbingly overwhelmed capacity for righteous indignation and seething outrage; let’s not underestimate the impact of the “Military Commission Act” (or whatever the fuck it’s called) and the certainty that we need to yell and squawk and bleat and holler all we can, before we’re transformed into unwilling guests of the nearest Halliburton concentration camp. Perhaps it’s all these things, or none of them, or something else entirely. Whatever the case, here we go again.

In any event, it’s back to the blog and beer bottles for me. What’s to be solved here? Anything? I have no idea, or really any desire to formulate one. It may have been fun while it lasted, but the zipped-lip thing is over and done with -- for the moment. When I slip into the swill pit of despair, which happens with quite startling frequency, I always return to this comment by Lee at Captain Quahog, which I was fortunate to receive on the ass-end of one of my more venomously depressed posts:

I feel ya man.
I have pretty much stopped posting on my blog for the same reasons...what's the point anymore? Are these nimrods even going to get it, will they care??!! Their brains are so sauced in Kool-aid that there is probably no turning back for them. There seems to be way more evil than good in the world now and it scares me shitless. I actually got so paranoid for awhile I started stocking up on supplies in case they (when they) attack Iran.
But...
Sometimes at night when I am looking up at the billions of stars, planets and galaxies that are out there, I know, I know that there is so much more to this than that.
We are all on this great big cosmic journey together my friend and even though it seems that all hope is lost there really is some good out there...really!
This line from my favorite Dead song ( Scarlet Begonias) gives me good 'Joo Joo':
"Once in a while
you get shown the light
in the strangest of places
if you look at it right."
As hard as it is, and believe me I know how you feel. WE CANNOT LET THEM WIN. They thrive on fear, hate and despair. Don't give it to them.
Ps I like your blog dude, you’re a great writer; you write from the heart. Not any easy thing to do.

Peace, Lee


Well said, well said.

3 comments:

Lee said...

Now if I could only pull my head out of my own depressed ass and stop scaring the shit out of myself I’ll be good to go as well my friend…

Must take of tin foil hat…must take off tin foil hat…

E. Buttler said...

Nah, man -- leave the hat on. Mine's permanently welded to my head, so what the hell.

Too friggin' bad there's no Dead show to see and experience -- they used to really force me to pay attention to what's truly important. *SIGH*

Take care, my friend.

Lee said...

That other post was kinda like reading a bottle of Dr. Bronners soap. If you don't know what I'm talking about sit down and read a bottle sometime...

I know what yer saying 'bout the music. I miss it so much. Saw the Dead 2 summers ago here in Mass. It was great but sad at the same time. I got Sirius a few months back and they have a great station called Jam On. Lots of live Dead and other cool obscure jam bands.

Saw a bunch of great Dead shows at Cal Expo in the 80's. Used to live in SF. Miss the West coast. Always thought I would end up living there forever.

Cape Cod works though. Quiet. Good place to gather yer thoughts and hide from the impending shit storm headed our way.