BRIEF DISPATCH FROM HEE-HAW NATION

What's that song they used to sing on "Hee-Haw"? Doom, despair, and agony on me ... or something to that effect. I can't seem to flush that tune out of my head these days, which isn't much of a surprise. Whenever I glance at a newspaper headline or unwittingly catch a snippet of "news" on TV or the radio, or am otherwise reminded of the cesspool of desperation and loathing the Bushoids are rapidly transforming this country into, saturated images of Grampa and Buck Owens and Minnie Pearl and BR-549 play merry hell with my shredded sensibilities. And, of course, that famous song lays over everything, like the stench of corruption on a room full of Republicans.

OK, after a few moments of Internet research, my memory has been "refreshed" -- it goes something like this:

Doom, despair, and agony on me/ Deep dark depression, excessive misery/ If it weren't for bad luck, I'd have no luck at all/ Doom, despair, and agony on me

Not exactly high art, but it certainly captures the barest essence of the times -- not to mention the no-man's-land of gloom inside my withered skull.

Christ, I need a drink.